We can all agree on the obvious signs your sweetie wants out — like he swaps that wallet photo of you for one of his mom — but what about the more subtle signs? Spotting them is the key to surviving with your pride (and even your relationship) safely intact. “Instead of closing up when we’re afraid a romance may be ending, we need to force ourselves to be open,” says Maya Talisman Frost, owner of Real-World Mindfulness Training. “In many cases, open communication can prevent a downward relationship spiral, so pay attention and watch for opportunities to connect.”

Here are five early clues you’re about to get dumped:

Bottom line: If any of these clues rings true, try talking to your guy, says Talisman Frost. Let him know that you want to hear whatever he’s thinking — the less judgmental your tone, the more likely he’ll be to truly open up. In some cases, just being able to vent his relationship anxieties may relieve them. At the very least, by speaking up you gain some ownership of the breakup, making you feel less like a victim and more like the mastermind of your own love-life happiness.