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									[Dating] A guide to girl talk for guys - Miscellaneous				            </title>
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                        <title> A guide to girl talk for guys</title>
                        <link>https://xhanch.com/forum/miscellaneous/dating-a-guide-to-girl-talk-for-guys/#post-392</link>
                        <pubDate>Mon, 18 Apr 2011 10:13:59 +0000</pubDate>
                        <description><![CDATA[If youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve ever spoken to a woman, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s fair to say youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been confused by one. Yes doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t always mean yes, no doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t always mean no, and most of us have...]]></description>
                        <content:encoded><![CDATA[If youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve ever spoken to a woman, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s fair to say youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been confused by one. Yes doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t always mean yes, no doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t always mean no, and most of us have once in our lives even admitted, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, I may have said that, but I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t mean it.Ã¢â‚¬Â WhatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s with all the mixed messages? Ã¢â‚¬Å“Women communicate by giving subtle suggestions instead of being literal, so we can check for positive reinforcement before we continue. We want to be careful about the impact we have on the other person,Ã¢â‚¬Â explains Sharyn Wolf, CSW, a psychotherapist in New York City. But while figuring out what women really want can be difficult, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not impossible. So follow this guide to Ã¢â‚¬Å“girl-speak.Ã¢â‚¬Â These are some of the things you might hear a woman say as you meet, date and woo her Ã¢â‚¬â€ and the code for reading between the lines.<br><br><img class="go2wpf-bbcode" src="http://images.match.com/match/matchscene/articles/main12001.jpg"><br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re really sweet, but I definitely donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to date you.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a classic weekend night scene, somewhere in public. You see her sitting by herself and figure itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s as good a time as any to make a move. And itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s all going so well Ã¢â‚¬â€ sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s smiling, sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s answering your questions Ã¢â‚¬â€ until she drops the bomb that she has a boyfriend. Now, she may be telling the truth. But more likely this Ã¢â‚¬Å“boyfriendÃ¢â‚¬Â is merely a ploy to get you to back off fast. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I use that line all the time; it really works without hurting a guyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s feelings too much,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Claire McKimmie. Ã¢â‚¬Å“It shows immediately that thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s nothing more to say.Ã¢â‚¬Â <br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t I take your number and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll call you?Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s no way IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m giving you my number, so why donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t I take yours?Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: Even in this day and age, most women like to be pursued, so if we really like you, weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll happily hand over our digits and wait for you to call. Pretty much the only time weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll ask for your number is Ã¢â‚¬â€ sorry Ã¢â‚¬â€ when we want to keep the ball in our court and, well, never see you again. Other not-so-great responses: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t you email me instead,Ã¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬Å“You can get my number through our mutual friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend MarcyÃ¢â‚¬Â or Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m listed.Ã¢â‚¬Â Trust us, if she likes you, sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll make it easy for you to call.<br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, sorry, I already have weekend plans.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t necessarily have weekend plans, but youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re calling so last-minute IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d feel like a loser if I admitted I was free and took you up on your offer.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: As much as we all say that The Rules is an outdated tome that brews trouble between the genders, there are still some things we canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t let go of. And one of them is that we donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to accept plans with you last-minute, because we donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want you to think weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re that easy to catch. Ã¢â‚¬Å“If a guy waits until Friday to ask me out on Saturday, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll probably say no,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Claire Arnaud. Ã¢â‚¬Å“He has to work for it. And if he doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have the patience to call back next week, too bad, thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s his loss.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“This feels good, but we really shouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I want you, bad, but donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to get burned.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: The night is winding down, and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s time to decide whether she should hold Ã¢â‚¬Ëœem, fold Ã¢â‚¬Ëœem, or soldier on into the morning light with you. So if your date isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t telling you a flat-out Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,Ã¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬Å“I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to,Ã¢â‚¬Â or Ã¢â‚¬Å“I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t like you that way,Ã¢â‚¬Â chances are she really does like you Ã¢â‚¬â€ and want you Ã¢â‚¬â€ that way. SheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d just rather wait a few weeks or months until she knows youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re not a love-Ã¢â‚¬â„¢em-and-leave-Ã¢â‚¬â„¢em type. Ã¢â‚¬Å“ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s possible sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s been in the position before of becoming intimate with a man and wanting to hear from him and then not hearing from him Ã¢â‚¬â€ and she doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to make that mistake again,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Wolf. So if youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re a guy who really does want the relationship to go further (be honest now), itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s worth telling her so to see if sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll change her mind.<br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“So, what have you been up to?Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why havenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t you called me? Are you seeing someone else?Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: If we havenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t talked to you in a few weeks and then you suddenly start calling again, all we want to know is, What the heck took you so long? But because we want you to think weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re laid-back Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, whateverÃ¢â‚¬Â women, all we dare squeeze out is a general inquiry. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want him to know I care,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Emilie Giroud Capet. Our biggest fear? That youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been calling other women instead of us. Whether thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s the case or not, youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re best off filling in your missing weeks with very unromantic things. Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m hoping heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll tell me heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s been working really hard,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Emilie, Ã¢â‚¬Å“or better, that heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s been really sick.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“If you want to have a guyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s night, go ahead, fine.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I really, really donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want you to go. And if you do, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m going to be upset.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: It seemed innocuous enough; you asked her if sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d mind rescheduling your romantic night in so you could go out with the guys. SheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s given you the green light. So whatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s the red flag in that statement? The word Ã¢â‚¬Å“fine.Ã¢â‚¬Â See, when a woman says something is fine, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s decidedly not. Ã¢â‚¬Å“A woman will say itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s fine for him to go without her because she doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to get in a fight about it, even though deep down, she doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want him to go without her,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Wolf. Another phrase women often use to clue you into their displeasure: Ã¢â‚¬Å“If you like.Ã¢â‚¬Â As in, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure, you can go out with the guys tonight, if you like.Ã¢â‚¬Â ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a pretty clear sign that while you may like it, she sure wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t. Either way, feel free to play dumb and go out with your buddies Ã¢â‚¬â€ just be ready to accept the consequences when you return.<br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“So, tell me about Diane.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Should I be threatened by Diane?Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: When a man brings up another femaleÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s name in the midst of a story, a womanÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s internal panic button is pressed Ã¢â‚¬â€ she fears that youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re talking about her because youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re secretly attracted to her. So until you make it clear you wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t touch Diane with a ten-foot pole, our insecurities will lead us to assume sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a wasp-waisted blonde who laughs at your jokes Ã¢â‚¬â€ and youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d love to be her boyfriend. So if Diane is attractive and available, please donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t say, Ã¢â‚¬Å“SheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s really cool.Ã¢â‚¬Â Instead, try, Ã¢â‚¬Å“DianeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just someone I work with. Wow, she can be annoying sometimes. Some guys at the office are drawn to her but I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t get it; sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not all that.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br><br>What she says: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love the way you smell.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>What she means: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love you, but I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t dare tell you I love you before you tell me you love me.Ã¢â‚¬Â<br>Why she says it: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I just told the guy IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been dating for three weeks that I loved the way he smelled,Ã¢â‚¬Â says Lili De Monseignat, Ã¢â‚¬Å“but itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s more him that I love than his smell.Ã¢â‚¬Â Then why hold back? Because women know that telling a guy we love him before he tells us could be too much for him to handle. Ã¢â‚¬Å“ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s too soon to tell him I love him, because heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll freak out and run away!Ã¢â‚¬Â says Lili. But if you want to be loved, perk your ears up for the word itself. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love your dog,Ã¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love your apartment,Ã¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love the way you dress,Ã¢â‚¬Â and Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love that you love Indian foodÃ¢â‚¬Â are all signs that something big is bubbling underneath that little heart of hers. In other words, gentlemen, please be gentle.]]></content:encoded>
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